Not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m socially awkward. I’m terrible at making small talk, which is the same as saying I have little to no people skills. This puts me at a huge disadvantage. Being a social, easy going person can get you far in life because it makes you a more likable person. The more like able you are, the easier it is to get a job, get a promotion, build your network, etc.
All it is is being friendly. Making light cordial conversation with someone for a small amount of time. Even if its for less than 60 seconds, people like to talk even if it’s to fill the silence. When you deposit money at the bank, the teller asks you about your day. I always find it annoying because I dislike partaking in small talk. But I realize it’s necessary for any face-to-face customer interaction.
This wouldn’t be so burdensome to me if small talk came easy. I’m currently reading Blink by Malcolm Maxwell and there was a section on improv. As he was explaining the rules of improv, I realized the rules could be applied to real life. The best way to have small talk is to not deny any suggestion by the other person. That is to say, you should agree with what the other person says in order to “[engage] in the kind of fluid, effortless, spur-of-the-moment dialogue.”
Like when someone makes an outlandish statement in an attempt to make a joke. My only conceivable response is a fake laugh because in my mind, I’m just thinking about how weird this person is. Instead, I should accept the scenario presented by my partner in conversation, and response accordingly.
For example, I was purchasing lunch at the cafeteria at work with a reusable bottle of water in hand. The cashier says to me with a chuckle, “Oh I thought that was a bottle of bourbon.” I just laughed. In the interest of congenial dialogue, I should have said, “Oh I can’t shoot bourbon, this is vodka.” My new rule for conversations: play along.